I'm Learning...

A LOT, it seems like. I met with Natalie Patterson today just to talk, pray, hold each other accountable and it was sooo good! We've been hanging out weekly for probably about 7 months? I can't remember when we started, but it's been a while and it's cool because we have gotten to see how the Lord is moving in our lives and how much we've grown in the past months, some days we just chill, some days we play with Lily, some days we laugh and tell stories and some days we have deep, enriching conversation and today was one of those days. We just started talking about things we're struggling with and things we're learning and things we're convicted about and it was just really encouraging. So...thanks Nat...I love you!

I wanted to write some of the things I'm learning because 1) it helps me to remember them and continue to work on them and 2) because it makes me accountable when it's out there for everyone to see. So...here goes:

#1 I feel like I am good at managing money and like most couples Eric and I have great times where we are paying normal bills, with no "bad" debt and we can go out to eat and not have a panic attack when we get our receipts (by the way when I say go out to eat...I mean like Bennigans...I would have a panic attack under any circumstance if our meal price was more than $25...sad I know) which is great...but we also have times when we have A LOT to pay for and we feel like it's never ending and we don't know where the money is going to come from...that is this month. It's just been one thing after another, medical bills, car problems, normal every day occurances, school stuff, etc. I was getting a little worried about how we were going to pay for everything...but this morning I just realized that I am not trusting the Lord with this area and I need to. So, I prayed about it a lot and I feel peace today...who knows about tomorrow, but I'm just going to keep praying! It's always a revelation to me that I can trust God and He'll take care of stuff instead of me freaking out and trying to do it myself...I don't know why because He's taught me that about 700 times.

#2 I'm learning how to replace bad thoughts with thoughts of the Lord and His Word. Ben talked about it this weekend. I let lies fill my head and then let them rule my day instead of just taking them captive and thinking on Truth. I have been praying through some of those lies in the last couple of weeks and I feel so much better...it's just a matter of keeping it up.

#3 Eric and I have been busy and have been having a hard time finding time to spend one on one. Sometimes we forget we need one on one time and spend time with other people or doing things for the church or whatever...which are also great, but we're missing out on a lot with each other. Natalie encouraged me to talk to him about setting boundaries and making time every day for each other. We are starting with trying to have dinner together, talking, not watching TV or being distracted, but just being together and if we can't have dinner together for some reason we need to make a time where we can talk that day. Natalie also encouraged me to be better at talking to him about what I'm learning and being open with him...not because I'm afraid to share with him or anything...mostly because I just forget and it's easy to talk about normal life and work. So I'm excited about learning together how to share more!

#4 This one I talked about in my first blog...but just to reiterate I want to be better at being a part of a community. Being open and honest about where I am and going deeper with people. Just since I started this blog I feel like the Lord has been working on me and making me less afraid of what people think and more willing to confess and be honest about who I am. But, I still want to find couple friends or a home group where Eric and I can both find community and share in that.

#5 Yesterday we had a Staff Leadership Lunch, which is where we meet once a month and eat together and learn about leadership qualities. We learned about being ourselves yesterday and it was another revelation to me...it's funny how the simplest things that we hear all the time can suddenly be revelations. We just talked about how we try so hard to be someone we aren't when all the while it's okay to be us because that's who God made us to be. Yesterday I realized...it's okay that I'm not big on being the center of attention, because God made me a behind the scenes person and it's okay that I'm not artistic in art or writing because I am gifted in administration and organization. There are things that are weaknesses that we can change, but the things that are just not who we are...are okay. I'm always trying to become someone else...but I want to learn how to be me and be okay with it. I have the perfect job to do that because I get to us my gifts and it's completely in line with who God made me...but sometimes I still try to change who I am.

#6 This is another one that I posted in my blog on Monday...but I just wanted to give you an update that I have read my Bible and spent time with Lord every morning this week so far and it has been awesome! Probably a huge reason why the Lord is moving and growing me so much this week. I hope that I can continue to do so and not get distracted.

Anyways...that's all for now. This is so long...but I felt like I needed to get it out there. Thank you for reading and for all your comments...I can't tell you how encouraging reading your blogs and hearing from you has been.